How should I run? Where should I start? What’s the secret to sticking with it? As a new year arrives the same question comes pouring in again: How do I run? People never want to hear the simple truth: run slower. Most of us are blessed to move daily in some form, but our ego often is not prepared for the low rate at which our body can stride after time off.

There is a special pleasure in embarking on a run of unknown duration or undetermined distance. It brings time closer. When I set out on a long run, I check the clock and calculate progress. During speed workouts, my mind is focused on the intervals that are yet to come, and even easy runs sometimes have me ticking off sections, with each turn becoming an item on a to-do list. In recent months, I had decided to discard these preconceptions in favor of open-ends, curiosity and adventure.

The experience of not seeing progress as fast as I would want to can feel frustrating. While can borrow someone’s idea or dream, but you cannot borrow their conviction. Conviction is the glue that holds your dream together when everything is falling apart.

One cannot deny that it has been a year filled with plenty of ups and downs, and a need to adjust, requiring patience, while facing the unknown. I began to note a number of similarities between running an ultra-marathon and living life amidst the COVID-19 pandemic. It has become clear to me that having a defined goal, offers purpose and direction, while navigating towards an unknown future.

On March 12, exactly four months ago today, I received the message that The Speed Project was canceled. On March 13, Donald Trump, closed the boarders, prohibiting any oversea flights from entering the United States, and we have moved to working from home. Since then, it has truly been an interesting journey in all areas of life.

In 2015, I visited Chamonix for the first time and witnessed the start of Ultra-Trail Du Mont Blanc (“UTMB”) - an experience that has changed my life ever since. Hooked by the atmosphere and the magic of this event, I turned UTMB into my life goal. I left the French alpine resort with the ambition to complete the course, turning this endeavor into a part of my everyday life.

Before arriving in Chamonix, I was digesting the words that my father had shared with me last year about making decisions and pursuing them. So, when I had decided to run Ultra-Trail Du Mont Blanc for a second time (Race Report: Ultra-Trail Du Mont Blanc 2018), I committed to the five steps and continued my journey to complete the course this year. Unfortunately, things turned out to be different than planned and for a second consecutive year I had to drop out of the UTMB (Race Report: Ultra-Trail Du Mont Blanc 2019). Another missed chance and shattered dream is heartbreaking. I was progressing through the mountains, but after more than 150 kilometers, my race was once again stopped by hallucinations.